Blog #50
OOOOOOH! This One’s Going To Hurt...
I have been left with zero choices on what I am about to reveal. Have you ever heard the phrase “I am sick and tired of being sick and tired”? Well, here we are. I am really really f#$%@ annoyed at being spectacularly unfocused and unable to concentrate! That's my interpretation. Now, granted I have always had enormous difficulty concentrating and have tried to implement several ways to overcome or at least ease the chaos that ensues as I attempt to tackle 30+ projects a day. It’s NOT possible and on top of that, I can’t seem to successfully complete even four or five tasks.
I cannot begin to itemize the micro disturbances that occur daily both internally and externally. The extremely frustrating part is that my squirrel brain is ripped from concentrating at the sound of a car going by. The next thing I know I am:
Letting the dogs out because I am reminded of the outside world that a car exists in;
Making more coffee because now that I am ALREADY distracted I might as well;
Checking facebook (see rationalization above);
Checking Instagram (see rationalization in No. 2)
Spontaneously start cleaning out my closet I haven’t touched in years because the thought of my to-do list makes me want to take on another monstrosity of a project that does NOT have a need to be tackled for about another decade;
Text my girlfriend because I want her to be distracted as well;
Shop online because I LOVE to shop;
Check to see how many Michaels rewards I have because buying art supplies is my obsession;
I think I have made my point. So, in a desperate attempt to “change my life”, this is actually what the messenger of this suggestion said, I am NOT going to use my cell phone for the first hour of the day, and NOT use my cell phone for the last hour of the day. Ughhhh, I actually look forward to browsing the second I open my eyes. I tell my girlfriend that I need to be privy to world events when in reality, I end up seeing what someone had for dinner.
I’m sure I have mentioned the New York art show incessantly (really sorry) I have in March. Well, along with that is an insane amount of items that need to be checked, submitted, weighed, framed, priced, ordered, and reserved and I am suffering from incessant vertigo and obsessive checking and re-checking. Now, more than ever, is the time to finally change what is causing me distress and what I am really sick and tired of, my f)*&^ vortex of a cell phone!! And the fact is, at a minimum, I spend two hours a day on my phone. That does not factor in the innumerable times I take a quick “peek” to see if something new happens to have been just listed on facebook Marketplace.
My nighttime ritual is to head to bed “early” (9:00 ish) and scroll for a good hour. Again, those pesky world events keep happening, new items are always being added, and the range of dinners I get to view are fascinating! For the record, I really do enjoy it. All of it. That’s why I spend so much time doing it. And I won’t bore you with the scientific “dopamine” facts and the addictiveness (my specialty) of this habit as Google has provided the necessary data. It is a real thing and I HAVE to factor that in if I want to succeed.
Therefore, as going cold turkey can be a painful road to travel with any addiction, I need to replace it with something healthy and enjoyable. I have come up with; going to the studio for an hour, taking the dogs for double the walk time, reading, exercising, writing, and anything you would like to suggest so that I am not a raging maniac by day two.
I will be honest and report the results. Secretly, I feel like I am going to fail (story of my life), but battling those vexing incessant thoughts is another battle that will rage on daily for the rest of my life.
Keep creating and go be your badass self!!